The last few weeks have been pretty amazing. Well...as amazing as 4 hours of sleep a night can be. 3 children is absolutely nuts. Although I think I just keep telling myself it's 3 kids; I'm thinking that just having a newborn is nuts. I'm not sure. I am still living in a fog, and I'm surprised that I manage to make coherent sentences most of the time and sometimes complete thought processes.
The reason I say things have been amazing is because I am finally starting to feel normal again, and we're all back to being in a routine. Or mostly a routine I should say. I'm still trying to fit in my business somewhere in there. I keep telling myself that I am going to refuse appointments Mon-Thurs but it just never happens. Before Alistair we didn't have the pocketbook for me to say no...but seriously I don't have the time these days. My poor husband has to figure things out on the weekends (which is pretty darn similar to what I do everyday) with the kids and homework while I work, but we don't have the luxury of him being around during the week to help me out. The last few times I was working, Ben was busy helping out but he only has so many hands. I had one of my clients snuggling alistair for me while I finished styling her hair. Talk about feeling unprofessional...I've been in total denial of it too. Something's gotta change.
As far as home life goes, I wake up way earlier than I want to. It's always a pleasure too though because I love how much Penelope depends on me. I really do look forward to spending the morning eating breakfast with the girls and snuggling on the couch. We had to get locks for our cupboard doors because Samantha doesn't depend on me to get her food anymore. In fact, for months she's been getting her own cereal. She recently discovered that the other cupboards have far yummier things in them, like halloween candy. Alistair usually sleeps all morning, which I'm grateful for. When he wasn't sleeping much (or like...at all) during the day, I couldn't even find the time to eat food. It was a bite here and there as I was frantically assembling sandwhiches one handed or trying to open a bag of crackers so I could have 5 seconds of peace. I promise I don't normally use food as a babysitter ;)
I really thought I was going to go crazy there for a while. It made me appreciate all those evenings that I used to have by myself, even if it was only 30 minutes. The last week or two Alistair has fallen into a bedtime routine. He naps very lightly on and off between 5pm and 10 pm. That 10 pm feeding he fills himself up really well and then is so far into dreamland I don't even have to rock him or pat him to sleep. It's so wonderful. Sometimes I feel like crying because it's just a beautiful moment to have all three kids sleeping at once. That moment never lasts long because I have homework to do. Although I suppose I should be grateful that I finally have time to do homework that isn't at unreasonable hours of the morning.
With this routine, I feel like I can completely bond with my new little baby. Bonding within those first 6 or 7 weeks was always really hard for me with all of my kids. It's not like I ever blamed my kids for being stressful, but it's like the stress of keeping an 8 pound human being alive and waking up every 2 hours to feed starts wearing a person thin. There were a few nights when he was up every hour. I almost gave into going straight to formula because it was so difficult! This time around was especially hard because I couldn't get him to gain weight for a long time.
I'm enjoying my beautiful baby snuggles. He has an amazing smile. It's especially cute that when I laugh, he laughs. And newborn laughs are the best for sure. Samantha enjoys it too. She was so sweet with him today, she was talking to him trying to get him to smile at her. It's obvious that Alistair totally adores her too because he will watch her and smile at her. He enjoys their interactions together, and Samantha is just full of kisses for him!
The Robinson Path
Tuesday, December 2, 2014
Sunday, October 19, 2014
2 weeks old
So Alistair is two weeks old today. Two days ago, his weight was at 7 lb 7oz. The nurses weren't too happy about him being 12 days old and not back up to his birth weight. They made me feed him and weigh him again. He went up to 7 lb 9oz. This is funny to me because he didn't even eat that well because he kept falling asleep, but the nurses were thrilled he ate 2 whole oz. I bet if there was a way to measure, he normally eats at least 4 oz. This kid is a good eater, my milk supply probably just has a hard time keeping up with his demand. Penny was like this too, and she stayed very petite for a long time. She still kind of is petite. I pumped and bottle fed Samantha until she was 6 weeks old because we had latching problems, and she was eating at least 6 oz at each feeding. She was a chunk too, I miss those little cottage cheese legs of hers.
Today we moved the crib and the rocking chair into Samantha's room, and moved Penny's bed and her dresser into Penny's room. Penny has been hating the crib, but (big surprise) the second she realized we were giving her what she wanted she got all upset. She must not have realized that she had to give up her crib if she wanted the bed. Yet another thing her brother is taking away from her. I feel absolutely terrible, but we are making every effort in the world to help her adjust to all the change. Right now, I think all she needs is time. I'm hoping the next year won't kill me...but until then I think I will start investing in some peaceful parenting books to put onto my kindle. If anyone has any suggestions, please feel free to share with me...
Samantha has been doing great. She is definitely her ornery, 3 year old self (with a little extra kick), but my heart melts every time she steps up to help with her brother. I just LOVE how she talks about him all the time. Our neighbors were asking about him earlier today, and she told them that "he doesn't like to walk," and that "he sleeps a lot." Although she also told them that he eats from a bottle, which he definitely doesn't, but maybe she felt prompted to say that because we don't talk to people about our private parts. I told her next time it's okay to say "mommy's milk." She has also been asking to snuggle him before bed too. This is my favorite because she gives him kisses all over his face, and she giggles when he kisses her on the cheek. I am glad that we decided to let them share a room, it's obvious that she really has a connection with her brother.
Today we moved the crib and the rocking chair into Samantha's room, and moved Penny's bed and her dresser into Penny's room. Penny has been hating the crib, but (big surprise) the second she realized we were giving her what she wanted she got all upset. She must not have realized that she had to give up her crib if she wanted the bed. Yet another thing her brother is taking away from her. I feel absolutely terrible, but we are making every effort in the world to help her adjust to all the change. Right now, I think all she needs is time. I'm hoping the next year won't kill me...but until then I think I will start investing in some peaceful parenting books to put onto my kindle. If anyone has any suggestions, please feel free to share with me...
Samantha has been doing great. She is definitely her ornery, 3 year old self (with a little extra kick), but my heart melts every time she steps up to help with her brother. I just LOVE how she talks about him all the time. Our neighbors were asking about him earlier today, and she told them that "he doesn't like to walk," and that "he sleeps a lot." Although she also told them that he eats from a bottle, which he definitely doesn't, but maybe she felt prompted to say that because we don't talk to people about our private parts. I told her next time it's okay to say "mommy's milk." She has also been asking to snuggle him before bed too. This is my favorite because she gives him kisses all over his face, and she giggles when he kisses her on the cheek. I am glad that we decided to let them share a room, it's obvious that she really has a connection with her brother.
Friday, October 10, 2014
October 5th
October 5th was a pretty special day for our family. At 7:28 pm, Alistair Fredrick Robinson was born weighing 8 pounds 2 ounces and 19.5 inches long. He was evicted out of my belly because I am too miserable and impatient to go beyond 41 weeks pregnant. 41 weeks is depressing enough, I can't even imagine what 42 weeks would feel like.
His birth wasn't anything out of the ordinary. To us however, it was a very extraordinary and exciting and surreal experience. Well, once we finally kick started my body into labor anyway. It took the whole morning and afternoon to get my body to cooperate this time. I went into Labor and Delivery at 7:15 am. They didn't even bother looking at my veins to see which ones were good, they just brought in a heating pad right away. Apparently, they know me as the girl with crappy veins and a history of kidney stones. They attempted twice to put the IV in; the second time I bled all over the place. I made the mistake of looking at it. I felt super nauseous the whole time they were doing this, but the sight of my blood (which has never made me lightheaded before) made me cold and clammy. I was determined not to pass out so I just laid there while they put a cold rag on my neck. I know it wasn't within my control but I was still embarrassed. That's the second time in my whole life (both within 2 months) I almost passed out over a needle.
They started me off with the pitocin. It didn't do much the first hour but I was starting to get contractions. Unfortunately I wasn't progressing so the Dr. put me on Cytotec. That definitely didn't do anything. By this point, the clear diet they put me on was starting to make me feel irritated. I don't want to look at another strawberry jello ever again. I was beginning to think that I would be pregnant for another night, and I was praying they would keep me overnight instead of send me home. The Dr. ordered more pitocin (sigh of relief from me! At least that had been doing something), and within half an hour I was having uncomfortable contractions. Very quickly they began to be 1 1/2 to 2 minutes apart, and they had to turn off the pitocin completely because they didn't like how close together they were. The nurse told me it was possible the contractions could taper off and stop completely, so when the contractions started spreading apart and getting less intense I became discouraged. Out of the blue I started having the most uncomfortable contractions! Hallelujah! The only time in the world when it's exciting to be in so much pain that you can't even breathe!! Although, I had an easier time dealing with the contractions once the pitocin was gone.
I think that it was between 5:30 and 6 pm that I told the nurse that if my contractions were going to get any worse, then I wanted to have an epidural. In order to get an epidural, they had to check to see if my body was even progressing; they won't give you an epidural if the pitocin contractions aren't even doing anything. I had dilated 3 cm (I was 6cm by this point) and had made some progression on the effacement. Dr. sand wanted to double check to make sure I wanted an epidural because sometimes it slows things down, and although in the back of my mind I knew I could do it without one, I just KNEW that I needed an epidural and there was no convincing me otherwise. Brother McGee administered my epidural, and almost immediately Dr. Sands artificially ruptured my membranes. He checked to see how much progress I was making and immediately had me positioned to start pushing. The poor nurses weren't even ready for it! I wasn't even mentally prepared to push at this point, I had no idea it was going to happen so fast. Alistair came out pretty blue, and he didn't make any noise until they put him on the table. I liked that I could at least see him from how I was sitting, and got to hold him after they bathed him and all that fun stuff.
Meanwhile, Dr. Sands was working on getting the placenta out. It seemed to take forever. When he was analyzing it to make sure it had all come out, he noticed there was a piece missing. This is the part where I am so glad they gave me an epidural, and I will spare all readers the gruesome details.
I will also spare readers the rest of my traumatic bleeding problems. But I will say that I was mortified, BJ was pretty worried, and I was in a lot of pain because the medicine they give you postpartum for bleeding makes your uterus contract a lot....which really really really hurts. I was in a lot of that kind of pain for the next few days while I stayed there. The wonderful news is that I recovered VERY well, and the nurses and Dr. were very pleased with my recovery. I know that the Dr. is pretty dang biased when it comes to birthing in a hospital, but it really hit home when he told me that sometimes women who bleed like I did after a home birth often don't make it to the hospital in time to recover. He likes to mumble a lot, I've noticed. He went on about how women have this romantic idea of home birthing but in reality there were a lot of babies and mothers that died back in those days....blah blah blah. I share a lot of the same opinions, which is why I always chose to give birth in a hospital...but I really think birthing at home can be safe if the woman is smart about it and has a good back up plan.
I really like the food at the hospital, and I was the only one in L&D for at least a whole day, so I felt tremendously pampered. I would have stayed another day if I could have convinced myself I really needed it (which I didn't, but I sure wanted it!).
Later, I found out that BJ watched the birth! I am so proud of him for it too. I think he is really happy with himself too. I never expected him to "get over it" and watch the miracle of life. There is something different with BJ this time too. He is more experienced maybe, I'm not sure. Whatever it is, it's made him a lot more interested in being involved with the baby and with helping out around the house. He is even taking care of the girls, getting their baths ready and getting them to bed and feeding them and playing with them...keeping them super happy. Which he has always done, but I've always had to remind him to do things. He's just really stepped up to the plate and is doing his absolute best to take care of me this time. He even picks up Alistair and offers to hold him, even though in the past he was always too afraid to "break them." They do look pretty fragile, but they're tougher than he thinks they are.
The girls are adjusting really well! They really love him, and they haven't shown any signs of being jealous or anything. Penny started the terrible two's already so maybe that's why I'm not noticing much from her yet. But samantha is incredibly interested in her brother and enjoys helping me get him to sleep and give him his binki.
Alistair, so far, has been very chill. He doesn't have a lot of interest in the binki, so I haven't really pushed it on him. He sleeps well without it so I won't fuss. He does prefer being held until he falls asleep though, which has been both good and bad. I absolutely adore his snuggles. He is a really good eater, and I'm glad I don't have much problem getting him to latch on or wake up to eat. We will see how much he changes in the next few weeks though!
His birth wasn't anything out of the ordinary. To us however, it was a very extraordinary and exciting and surreal experience. Well, once we finally kick started my body into labor anyway. It took the whole morning and afternoon to get my body to cooperate this time. I went into Labor and Delivery at 7:15 am. They didn't even bother looking at my veins to see which ones were good, they just brought in a heating pad right away. Apparently, they know me as the girl with crappy veins and a history of kidney stones. They attempted twice to put the IV in; the second time I bled all over the place. I made the mistake of looking at it. I felt super nauseous the whole time they were doing this, but the sight of my blood (which has never made me lightheaded before) made me cold and clammy. I was determined not to pass out so I just laid there while they put a cold rag on my neck. I know it wasn't within my control but I was still embarrassed. That's the second time in my whole life (both within 2 months) I almost passed out over a needle.
They started me off with the pitocin. It didn't do much the first hour but I was starting to get contractions. Unfortunately I wasn't progressing so the Dr. put me on Cytotec. That definitely didn't do anything. By this point, the clear diet they put me on was starting to make me feel irritated. I don't want to look at another strawberry jello ever again. I was beginning to think that I would be pregnant for another night, and I was praying they would keep me overnight instead of send me home. The Dr. ordered more pitocin (sigh of relief from me! At least that had been doing something), and within half an hour I was having uncomfortable contractions. Very quickly they began to be 1 1/2 to 2 minutes apart, and they had to turn off the pitocin completely because they didn't like how close together they were. The nurse told me it was possible the contractions could taper off and stop completely, so when the contractions started spreading apart and getting less intense I became discouraged. Out of the blue I started having the most uncomfortable contractions! Hallelujah! The only time in the world when it's exciting to be in so much pain that you can't even breathe!! Although, I had an easier time dealing with the contractions once the pitocin was gone.
I think that it was between 5:30 and 6 pm that I told the nurse that if my contractions were going to get any worse, then I wanted to have an epidural. In order to get an epidural, they had to check to see if my body was even progressing; they won't give you an epidural if the pitocin contractions aren't even doing anything. I had dilated 3 cm (I was 6cm by this point) and had made some progression on the effacement. Dr. sand wanted to double check to make sure I wanted an epidural because sometimes it slows things down, and although in the back of my mind I knew I could do it without one, I just KNEW that I needed an epidural and there was no convincing me otherwise. Brother McGee administered my epidural, and almost immediately Dr. Sands artificially ruptured my membranes. He checked to see how much progress I was making and immediately had me positioned to start pushing. The poor nurses weren't even ready for it! I wasn't even mentally prepared to push at this point, I had no idea it was going to happen so fast. Alistair came out pretty blue, and he didn't make any noise until they put him on the table. I liked that I could at least see him from how I was sitting, and got to hold him after they bathed him and all that fun stuff.
Meanwhile, Dr. Sands was working on getting the placenta out. It seemed to take forever. When he was analyzing it to make sure it had all come out, he noticed there was a piece missing. This is the part where I am so glad they gave me an epidural, and I will spare all readers the gruesome details.
I will also spare readers the rest of my traumatic bleeding problems. But I will say that I was mortified, BJ was pretty worried, and I was in a lot of pain because the medicine they give you postpartum for bleeding makes your uterus contract a lot....which really really really hurts. I was in a lot of that kind of pain for the next few days while I stayed there. The wonderful news is that I recovered VERY well, and the nurses and Dr. were very pleased with my recovery. I know that the Dr. is pretty dang biased when it comes to birthing in a hospital, but it really hit home when he told me that sometimes women who bleed like I did after a home birth often don't make it to the hospital in time to recover. He likes to mumble a lot, I've noticed. He went on about how women have this romantic idea of home birthing but in reality there were a lot of babies and mothers that died back in those days....blah blah blah. I share a lot of the same opinions, which is why I always chose to give birth in a hospital...but I really think birthing at home can be safe if the woman is smart about it and has a good back up plan.
I really like the food at the hospital, and I was the only one in L&D for at least a whole day, so I felt tremendously pampered. I would have stayed another day if I could have convinced myself I really needed it (which I didn't, but I sure wanted it!).
Later, I found out that BJ watched the birth! I am so proud of him for it too. I think he is really happy with himself too. I never expected him to "get over it" and watch the miracle of life. There is something different with BJ this time too. He is more experienced maybe, I'm not sure. Whatever it is, it's made him a lot more interested in being involved with the baby and with helping out around the house. He is even taking care of the girls, getting their baths ready and getting them to bed and feeding them and playing with them...keeping them super happy. Which he has always done, but I've always had to remind him to do things. He's just really stepped up to the plate and is doing his absolute best to take care of me this time. He even picks up Alistair and offers to hold him, even though in the past he was always too afraid to "break them." They do look pretty fragile, but they're tougher than he thinks they are.
The girls are adjusting really well! They really love him, and they haven't shown any signs of being jealous or anything. Penny started the terrible two's already so maybe that's why I'm not noticing much from her yet. But samantha is incredibly interested in her brother and enjoys helping me get him to sleep and give him his binki.
Alistair, so far, has been very chill. He doesn't have a lot of interest in the binki, so I haven't really pushed it on him. He sleeps well without it so I won't fuss. He does prefer being held until he falls asleep though, which has been both good and bad. I absolutely adore his snuggles. He is a really good eater, and I'm glad I don't have much problem getting him to latch on or wake up to eat. We will see how much he changes in the next few weeks though!
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