I've been avoiding my blog like the plague. I'm not sure why, but I just always feel like there are better things I could be doing before school starts. I decided today that it was stupid to think that. The longer I wait to blog/journal, the less I will remember. Maybe I'll still remember today, but will I remember exactly how I felt? Probably not. Blogging is good for reflection, and it's also good for stress. So here goes nothing; maybe I can start sorting out my clogged up brain once I regurgitate it here on this slightly private online blog I have created for this very purpose.
Summer has been absolutely amazing. Too amazing, actually. My kids drive me even more crazy sometimes, but every minute I have at home with them is a blessing. I am mortified to go back to school. Summer was VERY hard on us. I fear that next quarter won't be any better. I pray everyday that we can make it through the next two years...somehow. Having less time to spend with my husband is really challenging. But when it's all over, I'll be even more grateful for the lives we are building together. We can't appreciate the good without the bad right? Our good is going to be soooooooooooo gooooood.
Our finances have never been more screwed up. Actually, that's kind of blowing it out of proportion. Honestly, I'm surprised we have paid as many bills as we have this month. When BJ got t-boned by that car in the parking lot and lost his unemployment, I sat down and computed our bills. We would barely have enough money to make it through August, if we were lucky. Honestly, 6 months is quite an impressive amount of time to go without any income (other than financial aid...which barely counts as anything, as most of it goes towards school. Go figure, right? :D) We have been blessed with amazingly supportive parents and family to help us survive the emergencies. Much of it I attribute to my upbringing. My parents taught me the value of money management, and paying tithing. Although without any income, we have had no tithes to pay recently. But we have been faithful tithe payers since we began to be active in the church again. Believing in the blessings of paying tithe requires a lot of faith, but I had always been skeptical. Is it really blessings that rain down on us, or is it just because we "force" ourselves to live with 10% less than what we earned that causes us to be more aware of the activities going on in our bank account (which in some ways encouraged me to be better with my money)? And why do we attribute financial "miracles" to Heavenly Father? Does he really influence people that much to allow those kinds of miracles to happen? Of course it's easy to be skeptical about that; there is no way to prove it. But I do know that regardless of the truth, believing in it makes me happy. So happy, in fact, that I don't really care if it's true or not. Heck, if Heavenly Father doesn't exist, and there is no afterlife, I take solace in the fact that there won't be a single soul to rub my nonsense faith in my face when I die.
This brings me to other things I've been contemplating for a long while, probably about a year or so. The happier that something makes me, the less I care about changing other people's opinions about it. Being happy about something also makes me care less about what people think (at least about what it is that made me happy). Sure, I love to have political opinions and religious opinions. Sometimes I share those with others, if I feel like it won't upset or offend anyone. Starting conflicts, especially about those subjects, is never a smart idea. I don't want to be known as "that girl." Reputations build on what I do and what I say. And really, why tarnish my reputation when I know that I can't be the one to change someone's philosophy? Let them change their philosophy on their own, they are the only ones who can do that. There are plenty of opportunities in life for people to learn and question their own philosophies in their own way. There are ways of opening up opportunities to share my own personal philosophies on life, but it never involves anger or frustration. And you know what? If people don't like my philosophy, then that is their choice. Who cares. One day, I will perfect that..."who cares, really?"
Well, I didn't mean to get so off topic.
I mostly wanted to blog about my new business! I've never been more excited for change in my life. I'm nervous as all heck. The culture we live in does everything in it's power to bring me down and attempt to crush my hopes and dreams. But I want to be in that 5% that is on the success curve, financially. I feel as though I am already on that success curve for pretty much everything else in my life. It's just my financial life needs to start taking a different direction. I've blamed our poor finances (maybe i'm too hard on myself. Like I said, 6 months is a pretty impressive amount of time to go without an income....) on me, on my husband, on our situation as students, on our debt....why is it so hard to just admit that we love our credit card too much, and living without those occasional simple pleasures is just too addicting and hard to give up even in the most awful of situations? I kept telling myself "something here or there won't kill us...a fast food once or twice a month isn't so bad, right?" WRONG. Small, everyday, easy to do (and easy not to do) decisions, compounded over time, can make you or break you. I organized our finances this year on excel...for each month. I almost crapped my pants when I saw how much we spent on entertainment and food. Practically $100 each, for each month!! That is $1200 that we could have had for this month...that is money that I wouldn't be stressing over RIGHT NOW. Why couldn't I see it back then? Did we really need those things? Well some of it was birthday gifts, birthday dinners, promises we had already made, food runs because we were running late...but I bet you at least half of that was unnecessary. UGH.
So, here I am...officially a Nerium International Brand Partner. I have dedicated at least 15 minutes to personal development everyday, I have financial goals (that I've even printed out and pinned to my dream board that is now hanging in my kitchen), I am happy, and I am taking control of my financial life...finally. I can be successful if I want to be, and I will be. I have never dreamed of being in the relationship marketing business...but let me tell you what. IT IS AMAZING. It's not easy. Nerium is by far the easiest of them all though. I get the opportunity to share a product with people that is absolutely amazing, that I am passionate about, and that helps people take control of the health of their skin (naturally based). Happy people, happy business, tremendous rewards and incentives....I'll be on cloud nine for a very long time. And then, I'll be in a Lexus...driving around on cloud nine with my fellow Nerium brand partners...
